Give to get. Give: get it?

“Give before you ask” should be the first rule of networking.

Why? 

First, returning favors is practically hard-wired into the human psyche

Reciprocity rules much of our behavior. We find it very difficult to turn down favors from those who have helped us. See this video from renowned social psychologist Robert Cialdini:

His book Influence, The Psychology of Persuasion is incredible, and I recommend subscribing to the free Inside Influence newsletter.

Second, people stick with the helpful

In the award-winning How the Mind Works, Steven Pinker points out:

"...in all societies, expertise is distributed unevenly.  Our mental apparatus for understanding the world, even for understanding the meanings of simple words, is designed to work in a society in which we can consult an expert when we have to." 

Keep in mind: No matter who you are, you are an expert on at least one thing that at least one person needs to know. The digital revolution makes finding that person easy. Also, remember: you don't need to provide business information to get business contacts. You can bond with people over any number of subjects. Just being helpful keeps their view of you positive.

For great networking tips, I recommend Harvey Mackay's "Dig Your Well Before You're Thirsty". Short outline here. (Note: I rarely recommend  non-academic books, but this one is full of practical advice that should be, but isn't, in your average MBA curriculum.  For example, always have at least five people in your network who will lend you a significant sum of money if you're in trouble.)

So don't just make contacts, start conversations.  Look at listed interests and projects on social networking members' pages. Each item represents a chance for you to share something that could be helpful to a contact. Join groups and participate. Search open questions that you can answer well. When you get thanked, follow up. Make yourself a resource and you will be able to ask for help when you need it.

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